Saturday, May 2, 2009Y
Dilemma
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Haiz... What a day today... Starting was awesome then suddenly when comes to night time it all fade and become like a piece of shit... Gosh. I'm soo fucked up. Can't believe just drank 2 cans straight bottoms-up and dun feel anything. Argh. Just slight giddy oni...
Today i faced a dilemma. To choose between this one and that one. One, is this person who's going through a great milestone of thy life and another, who is going through a great dipression in thy life. Argh. In the morn i see the number one but later on i planned to meet number two because thy feel soo shitty. And i dun like when ppl feel like that. So at noon meet number one and spent time with thy. Said my good bye and then meet number 2. Meet thy consoled, give advices then comes the bad news. Argh. My closest friend said i had dump my best friend on thy greatest milestone of thy life. Argh.
I really dun noe wad de fuck to fucking do man. If i dun go to number 1, i will be the biggest jerk of all time. If i dun go to number 2, thy will feel like crap and suicidal. Haiz i really dn noe wad to do. I thought wad i did today will bring the best of both world but instead, after what one of my bestie said apparently, no.
Bestie said that i shud go to number one because of wad thy has done and the duration of friendship and i shud not see number 2 because apparently, i was used. But what i really want was both of them to feel good. That was my intention. I really want that. Number two was soo down and thy oso sick. While number 1 was going through a big milestone of thy life.. Haiz... I really feel like a piece of shit on the ground where cars run over and humans accidently step over. Argh.
Also today, after giving advices to number 2, i rembered about my past relationship. I really miss those moments. I wish that i was loved by a girl again. I really miss the feeling of a girl every day sms me every moment asking where i am , who i tok too. ARGH... FUCK!!! GOSH... Then when i come home my mom was sick. Apparently infected by me cause i got a flu. ARGH!!! It's my fault tt she's sick.
Argh, i feel soo fucked up....
T_T
